Seriously. He's adorable. It almost makes me want one myself. Ha! Don't worry, not for a while yet:)
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Oh baby baby baby!
Is he not the CUTEST thing you've ever seen!?? I get to see him TOMORROW!!!!!!! Be jealous.
Seriously. He's adorable. It almost makes me want one myself. Ha! Don't worry, not for a while yet:)
Seriously. He's adorable. It almost makes me want one myself. Ha! Don't worry, not for a while yet:)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Verify This
Haha, ^that's for you, Anna. I would so wear these.
In class last Thursday we talked about Verification and Objectivity.
What does verification mean?
- The establishment of the truth or correctness of something by investigation or evidence
- The evidence that proves something is true or correct
- Evidence or testimony that confirms something
- Does NOT mean fair or objective
- Never add anything that was not there
- Never deceive the audience
- Be as transparent as possible about your methods and motives
- Rely on your own original reporting
- Exercise humility
This discipline of journalism of assertion affects journalistic bias because journalists are often simply re-reporting others' work and findings. So if one organization gets it wrong, there's a strong likelihood that others will report false information as well since, as Geneva Overholser put it, "we all feed at the same trough" in this age of electronic reporting. If reporters made sure to verify facts for themselves and do their own reporting, this situation would be better.
Next, let's talk about transparency. Transparency about your methods and motives is the third step in how to be objective. It means to be open and honest with your audience about what you both know and do not know: you must reveal as much as possible about your sources, who they are, how direct their knowledge is, what biases they might have, etc. Transparency shows respect for the audience: it allows the audience to register the information and to judge it on their own. "The key is this: the Spirit of Transparency first involves the journalist asking for each event, 'What does my audience need to know to evaluate this information for itself?'"
Practicing intellectual humility is another major step in remaining objective in your writing. It is important for journalists to be humble about their skills; they need to be skeptical about their ability to interpret information correctly. "Humility also means that you are open-minded enough to accept that the next person you talk to could change the entire meaning of your story or even convince you that you have no story." This is so important to keep in mind: journalists should not get so attached to their stories that they cannot let them go if circumstances change. It is our job to provide necessary information, not irrelevant misinterpreted stories.
Since class got out early, we didn't really get a chance to discuss how the media best serves democracy, but I went ahead and took the liberty of looking up "agenda setter role" (because we're talking about the watchdog role next week).
"The agenda-setting hypothesis asserts that the media have an effect indirectly by choosing certain issues for emphasis, thus making those issues more salient to the audiences."
-"Another Look At the Agenda-Setting Function of the Press"
This is what Christopher Harper has to say on the matter, using Tom Cekay as an example.
"For the past 20 years, Tom Cekay has been what's known as a "gatekeeper," a critical role in the way a medium sets agendas. That means Cekay is an editor who determines what gets through the "gate" into the newspaper for the reader to see. For years, the gatekeeper has been one of the most powerful people in the media, highlighting particular stories, promoting trends, sorting the journalistic wheat from the chaff, and some would argue restricting the flow of information."
Benjamin Barber, at the same conference as Christopher Harper (Democracy and Digital Media: The Agenda-Setting Function of Media) also had some to say on new media and its role with democracy. He outlined three definitions of democracy and then went on to describe how new technologies contribute to these particular attitudes of democracy.
Dear Will Schuester AKA Matthew Morrison...
You are one disgustingly beautiful piece of man. I think I literally had to wipe the drool off my face during last night's episode of Glee. Good heavens I have goosebumps just thinking about it. I was so very very jealous of Emma during that song. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, you are missing out on some serious HOTT-ness and I recommend immediately watching the Rocky Horror episode of Glee).
Schuester has always been hot, what with his cardigans, skinny ties and designer jeans, but last night he may have surpassed Finn and dare I even say it, Puck, in the hotness factor. Good grief, man. I wasn't sure anyone could win my heart over like Puck did last season with "Sweet Caroline," but Schuester just stole it.
That being said, my two favorite lines from last night are as follows:
Sam: "Where are you going?"
Finn: "To show everyone how hot and sexy I am."
Becky: "Give me some chocolate or I will cut you."
I <3 Glee!
Schuester has always been hot, what with his cardigans, skinny ties and designer jeans, but last night he may have surpassed Finn and dare I even say it, Puck, in the hotness factor. Good grief, man. I wasn't sure anyone could win my heart over like Puck did last season with "Sweet Caroline," but Schuester just stole it.
That being said, my two favorite lines from last night are as follows:
Sam: "Where are you going?"
Finn: "To show everyone how hot and sexy I am."
Becky: "Give me some chocolate or I will cut you."
I <3 Glee!
Friday, October 22, 2010
I suck at puzzles
I just can't seem to visualize how they fit together. I don't see it. I have to learn by trial and error: trying to shove the pieces together in every possible way until it fits. But before I can even do that I have to sort all the pieces into piles based on color. I have to organize myself, prepare, to make those stupid pieces fit into something resembling a picture.
Puzzles in no way excite me. I don't find them fun. I'm terrible with them. But for some reason I try them anyway. And I always bite off more than I can chew. Why couldn't I be happy with a 100 piece puzzle? Noooo! I've got to try the 1000 piece. So here I am. Staring at this huge mound of pieces that I can't possibly see how to put back together. I can't even figure it out using the picture on the box. Was this mess really once something recognizable? And why couldn't it have stayed that way? Who thought cutting it up into one thousand pieces and tossing it into a box would be a good idea?
Some days I'm intensely motivated to work on this huge project. But others I just want to kick the piles away from me and run: some days I do. (This only creates more of a mess, however, and I don't recommend it as a successful strategy for finishing a puzzle in any sort of timely manner).
And no one is really equipped to help me out with this puzzle - besides the Puzzle Maker Himself. And even then, 1000 pieces is a lot. You don't realize how much until you're surrounded: completely closed in by pieces.
I swear this is the biggest puzzle I've ever seen. Did those little puzzles I did as a kid seriously prepare me for this monster?
So far I've got the edges put together. But that's the easy part. And there is a whole freaking load of middle.
Puzzles in no way excite me. I don't find them fun. I'm terrible with them. But for some reason I try them anyway. And I always bite off more than I can chew. Why couldn't I be happy with a 100 piece puzzle? Noooo! I've got to try the 1000 piece. So here I am. Staring at this huge mound of pieces that I can't possibly see how to put back together. I can't even figure it out using the picture on the box. Was this mess really once something recognizable? And why couldn't it have stayed that way? Who thought cutting it up into one thousand pieces and tossing it into a box would be a good idea?
Some days I'm intensely motivated to work on this huge project. But others I just want to kick the piles away from me and run: some days I do. (This only creates more of a mess, however, and I don't recommend it as a successful strategy for finishing a puzzle in any sort of timely manner).
And no one is really equipped to help me out with this puzzle - besides the Puzzle Maker Himself. And even then, 1000 pieces is a lot. You don't realize how much until you're surrounded: completely closed in by pieces.
I swear this is the biggest puzzle I've ever seen. Did those little puzzles I did as a kid seriously prepare me for this monster?
So far I've got the edges put together. But that's the easy part. And there is a whole freaking load of middle.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
The Profession
So last Thursday Don Meyers from The Salt Lake Tribune came and spoke to us in class. I think my favorite quote from him was "Just Google him on YouTube." Probably not as funny in writing, but it cracked those of us in the corner up:)
We kind of skipped around to various topics but the central idea was about the profession of journalism.
Before class a few of us shared our worries for our social lives because in the reading other journalists were quoted as saying that it's too complicated to have friends outside the field of journalism. As people persons, this concerned us -- we like to have variety. But fortunately for us Bro. Meyer thought that was a ridiculous notion and said it's fine for journalists to expand their social circle. He told us to take The Godfather approach if issues ever arise: "It's not personal, it's business."
The Mind of a Journalist introduced the interesting concept that journalism is like a professional priesthood: that we as journalists "surrender to a higher calling of serving others." I definitely agree that journalists view themselves as part of a higher calling. We love what we do because we believe we are helping others through our skills of gaining information, processing it, and delivering it to the masses.
The book refers to two common theories in describing this priesthood: the hegemony theory, "directed at what journalists believe and comprising the social, cultural, and ideological beliefs of journalists," and the news work theory, directed at what journalists learn and experience on the job.
I believe the hegemony theory has a lot to do with our worldview. Our culture's standards and values affect the manner in which we present the news as well as the news content itself. In Western society we are very much focused on the timeliness aspect of the news because we value prompt and up-to-date information. Also in Western culture do we believe in negative news. When something bad happens in our community-we report on it, whereas in India, they hold a very different worldview such that their news is made when something good occurs. I'm not sure if journalists' world views differ from the average person. It seems to be the chicken or the egg scenario for me: do the world views and thus work of journalists influence the average person, or do the world views of the average person affect the way in which journalists present news?
Bro. Meyer's discussions about Bill Murray, the owner of the Crandall Canyon Mine, and the polygamist whose name I failed to write down, exemplified the news work theory (we got off on these topics when Prof. Campbell asked who the most interesting person Meyer had ever interviewed was). I wish I could find the Bill Murray clip we watched in class where he was going off about the Crandall Canyon Mine mess, but apparently I'm not that skilled at Google-ing things on YouTube, because I couldn't find his ridiculous press conference. But if anyone knows how to find it, let me know- it's a good laugh.
Just some tidbits I enjoyed from Don Meyer:
We kind of skipped around to various topics but the central idea was about the profession of journalism.
Before class a few of us shared our worries for our social lives because in the reading other journalists were quoted as saying that it's too complicated to have friends outside the field of journalism. As people persons, this concerned us -- we like to have variety. But fortunately for us Bro. Meyer thought that was a ridiculous notion and said it's fine for journalists to expand their social circle. He told us to take The Godfather approach if issues ever arise: "It's not personal, it's business."
The Mind of a Journalist introduced the interesting concept that journalism is like a professional priesthood: that we as journalists "surrender to a higher calling of serving others." I definitely agree that journalists view themselves as part of a higher calling. We love what we do because we believe we are helping others through our skills of gaining information, processing it, and delivering it to the masses.
The book refers to two common theories in describing this priesthood: the hegemony theory, "directed at what journalists believe and comprising the social, cultural, and ideological beliefs of journalists," and the news work theory, directed at what journalists learn and experience on the job.
I believe the hegemony theory has a lot to do with our worldview. Our culture's standards and values affect the manner in which we present the news as well as the news content itself. In Western society we are very much focused on the timeliness aspect of the news because we value prompt and up-to-date information. Also in Western culture do we believe in negative news. When something bad happens in our community-we report on it, whereas in India, they hold a very different worldview such that their news is made when something good occurs. I'm not sure if journalists' world views differ from the average person. It seems to be the chicken or the egg scenario for me: do the world views and thus work of journalists influence the average person, or do the world views of the average person affect the way in which journalists present news?
Bro. Meyer's discussions about Bill Murray, the owner of the Crandall Canyon Mine, and the polygamist whose name I failed to write down, exemplified the news work theory (we got off on these topics when Prof. Campbell asked who the most interesting person Meyer had ever interviewed was). I wish I could find the Bill Murray clip we watched in class where he was going off about the Crandall Canyon Mine mess, but apparently I'm not that skilled at Google-ing things on YouTube, because I couldn't find his ridiculous press conference. But if anyone knows how to find it, let me know- it's a good laugh.
Just some tidbits I enjoyed from Don Meyer:
- Journalism is the only profession specifically mentioned in the Constitution because our Founding Fathers believed a free and unfettered press is the best check on government (since I'm an elitist, of course I enjoy the fact that my chosen profession is more important than others...)
- Journalism demands the government be accountable to the people
- Journalists are story tellers at heart + historians with a sense of justice; we try to understand how government works and point out when it's not working.
- We "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Hello, I Love You, Won't You Tell Me Your Name?
Mallory has a couple posts on her blog that I just loved. So I'm stealing bits of them to share:
"There is somebody for everybody. Isn't it strange to think that the person you love, adore, and admire more than any other is the same person that another loathes, despises, and abhors more than any other . . . When you're running fast the other direction, avoiding a potential relationship with a person you don't love, there's someone else out there, running towards them, willing to give up anything for them . . . remember: that as you endlessly chase that man of your dreams, another gal, in some far away place, is running as fast as she can the other direction."
I like the thought of running towards someone. Though I hope it's not an "endless chase." ;) I also hope they'll forgive me for falling down a couple times before I reach them. I have a knack for being accident prone...
"I think when I am married, this change will not only become a relationship status but rather a definition of who I am. I am married. This signifies a part of our very being . . . The "I am" aspect denotes something about our very existence, our very being that is now interlocked with that of another. You become each other. It is not something you have, enjoy, need, or desire, it becomes the very essence of who you are . . . We must choose wisely who we marry; they become as much us as we are us. Are the people we are currently dating/marrying/courting what we want to become? Are they the epitome of who we want to be, we must of course, over look flaws and imperfections but are they fundamentally what we want to become? . . . If we can honestly say we are so in love, so passionate, so encompassed in the very being of this person that we want to become what they are - we must never let them slip away."
Love it. Props to you Mallory. Thanks for the food for thought:]
I'm not sure I'd ever sat down and thought about becoming so entirely like someone else. I used to look for someone different. Someone with different strengths than my own. Someone to compliment me in the areas I'm lacking in. And while I still think that's great, it's no longer what I'm focused on finding. Rather, I'm looking for a best friend- someone I think is so awesome I want to be them. A lady I know who has been married for 40 years told me that opposites attract until they're married. Then they pull apart. - I think it's time I switch my dating mentality. Sure, I enjoyed exploring new things with the people I've dated, testing out different aspects of life, but I think it'd be refreshing to find someone like me.
This is part of how I'm feeling at the moment:
Hello (Glee Cast Version)
I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...
I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you
"There is somebody for everybody. Isn't it strange to think that the person you love, adore, and admire more than any other is the same person that another loathes, despises, and abhors more than any other . . . When you're running fast the other direction, avoiding a potential relationship with a person you don't love, there's someone else out there, running towards them, willing to give up anything for them . . . remember: that as you endlessly chase that man of your dreams, another gal, in some far away place, is running as fast as she can the other direction."
I like the thought of running towards someone. Though I hope it's not an "endless chase." ;) I also hope they'll forgive me for falling down a couple times before I reach them. I have a knack for being accident prone...
"I think when I am married, this change will not only become a relationship status but rather a definition of who I am. I am married. This signifies a part of our very being . . . The "I am" aspect denotes something about our very existence, our very being that is now interlocked with that of another. You become each other. It is not something you have, enjoy, need, or desire, it becomes the very essence of who you are . . . We must choose wisely who we marry; they become as much us as we are us. Are the people we are currently dating/marrying/courting what we want to become? Are they the epitome of who we want to be, we must of course, over look flaws and imperfections but are they fundamentally what we want to become? . . . If we can honestly say we are so in love, so passionate, so encompassed in the very being of this person that we want to become what they are - we must never let them slip away."
Love it. Props to you Mallory. Thanks for the food for thought:]
I'm not sure I'd ever sat down and thought about becoming so entirely like someone else. I used to look for someone different. Someone with different strengths than my own. Someone to compliment me in the areas I'm lacking in. And while I still think that's great, it's no longer what I'm focused on finding. Rather, I'm looking for a best friend- someone I think is so awesome I want to be them. A lady I know who has been married for 40 years told me that opposites attract until they're married. Then they pull apart. - I think it's time I switch my dating mentality. Sure, I enjoyed exploring new things with the people I've dated, testing out different aspects of life, but I think it'd be refreshing to find someone like me.
This is part of how I'm feeling at the moment:
Hello (Glee Cast Version)
I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...
I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you
Friday, October 15, 2010
Hello Mr. Darcy
listening to David Archuleta
Oh gosh. What a beautiful day!! I'm so happy:]
I opened my acceptance letter to the broadcast journalism major this morning before class while I was on the phone with my daddy (I talk to him every morning on my way to school) and it's just been such a great day!
I am in my happy place right now. I had celebratory cookie dough earlier as a treat and I just woke up from a Glorious nap:] I probably look a mess, but I don't even care! I didn't set an alarm- I wanted perfectly restful sleep with no annoying device waking me up, so I put on Pride & Prejudice (the Keira Knightley version: I've literally watched it over 100 times.... It's what I fall asleep to most every night), and I traveled to Meryton for a blissful nap full of classical music and British accents: a perfect recipe for slumber.
And oh my heart! I woke up to Mr. Darcy walking through a field towards me. It was delightful.
I am a sucker for BBC Dramas. I will never require a man to watch them with me, but they just have to accept that sometimes all I want/need is a good BBC fix. It's like my Snuggie and The O.C.: I can't properly explain my love, but there's definitely a special place in my heart for them all.
I don't know where this picture is from, but I love it. I could definitely have engagement pictures like this. And I've always really loved her dress.
Oh gosh. What a beautiful day!! I'm so happy:]
I opened my acceptance letter to the broadcast journalism major this morning before class while I was on the phone with my daddy (I talk to him every morning on my way to school) and it's just been such a great day!
I am in my happy place right now. I had celebratory cookie dough earlier as a treat and I just woke up from a Glorious nap:] I probably look a mess, but I don't even care! I didn't set an alarm- I wanted perfectly restful sleep with no annoying device waking me up, so I put on Pride & Prejudice (the Keira Knightley version: I've literally watched it over 100 times.... It's what I fall asleep to most every night), and I traveled to Meryton for a blissful nap full of classical music and British accents: a perfect recipe for slumber.
And oh my heart! I woke up to Mr. Darcy walking through a field towards me. It was delightful.
I am a sucker for BBC Dramas. I will never require a man to watch them with me, but they just have to accept that sometimes all I want/need is a good BBC fix. It's like my Snuggie and The O.C.: I can't properly explain my love, but there's definitely a special place in my heart for them all.
I don't know where this picture is from, but I love it. I could definitely have engagement pictures like this. And I've always really loved her dress.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Sometimes, I write poetry
listening to Regina Spektor, eating leftover pizza: Canadian bacon, pepperoni, green peppers, black olives, mushrooms and onions; I felt inspired to tap into some past emotions
I have seen hell.
And it has a face.
Cold, gaunt, expressionless:
What creature stood before me,
With a face not of anguish nor of sorrow,
Neither contorted in pain nor suffering,
Nay, this face was barren of all cause.
The soulless orbs fixed upon my own:
I have been through hell and back through those eyes.
‘twas a frightening sight I vow never again to see,
For that devoid, spiritless face I saw in the mirror was me.
I have seen hell.
And hell is within me.
I have seen hell.
And it has a face.
Cold, gaunt, expressionless:
What creature stood before me,
With a face not of anguish nor of sorrow,
Neither contorted in pain nor suffering,
Nay, this face was barren of all cause.
The soulless orbs fixed upon my own:
I have been through hell and back through those eyes.
‘twas a frightening sight I vow never again to see,
For that devoid, spiritless face I saw in the mirror was me.
I have seen hell.
And hell is within me.
2010 Mass Update
So I started this particular blog for COMMS 239, but recently decided to include personal bloggings as well.
So Here It Goes. 2010: Year In Review. Hold on tight because "it's gonna be a bumpy ride!" (Please read in Jamaican accent: think HP3 Knight Bus).
CAUTION: This is probably way more than you're bargaining for.
Also note that yes, it's going to be divided up into months/people I've dated. That's just how it's categorized in my mind.
ACT I.
January: Dated two losers who used me, woohoo! Had a nice chat with a roommie and we decided to become better people that were more assertive with ourselves and that we weren't going to let guys walk all over us anymore. This change in attitude has had a great positive effect on my life.
ACT II.
February 13-April 28: Enter Boy #3
I will describe this as the blissfully happy part of my year. Absolutely crazy in love. Made killer grades. And the world could not have been more beautiful. Marriage came up. We set a date.
ACT III.
April 28-August 27: I cannot possibly describe this accurately. Worst Summer of My Entire Existence pretty much sums it up. Never again. So horrible. I was at home for the summer, he was in DC and later Atlanta working. I went to visit him twice. Our relationship was simply phone calls. I thought all things considered we were doing pretty well, but I was a wreck.
I'm going to take this opportunity to apologize to my family. I was not myself this summer. I don't know who that empty, cold person was, but it wasn't me. I was so depressed. But I didn't think my own absolute unhappiness would affect anyone else. I am so sorry. I literally felt like I was missing a significant piece of who I was.
Halfway through the summer I felt him forgetting me. Sometimes I wondered if he still loved me. I passed it off as him simply weirding out because it had been so long since we had been together. I kept holding out for the end of the summer so we could get back to normal. I thought it would be unfair to both of us to break up during the summer.
ACT IV.
August 27-29: Worst Weekend of My Entire Existence.
Back up a few days. I'd just driven to Utah from Texas as the sole driver. That's a good 22 hours of driving. Needless to say, I was burned out. Back to the 27th: I was not very nicely pressured into driving to Lake Powell to spend the weekend with the boy and his family. I really felt that if I didn't go I would lose him. Though I was so exhausted, I made the drive; I thought it was a sacrifice I just had to make. I brought with me an old roommate. Let this be a lesson to everyone: It is a woefully moronic idea to have 2 girls drive a long distance by themselves. There is not a word for how stupid that idea was.
So we drive. We get lost. I get hysterical. I get a speeding ticket (I never speed, ever!! It was soooo awful). We finally get there and his sister screams at me. I cry. It was a really brilliant beginning to a wonderful weekend.
Rest of the weekend: Something is wrong and I know it. No one is talking to me. He won't even talk to me. I am terrified. Can't eat, can't sleep.
Sunday night we all drive back to Provo. I find a girl's number in his wallet. I feel so great.
He comes over for dinner, we don't talk. We go on a walk. He dumps me. The end.
Oh but had it been the end!
ACT V.
September: I met all my roommates the day after I got dumped, coincidentally the day school started! I really believe it created an instant bond between me and them though. And I'm really grateful that if it had to happen, it happened when it did. I got to start the semester fresh:) I actually did incredibly well all things considered. The first week I didn't eat or sleep, but fortunately that can't go on forever and I slowly regained an appetite. (I lost weight though! Bonus!)
I seriously was recovering quite well. Until he started texting me again.
September was just, messy. It's really not OK to talk to the person you crushed and tell them you think you made a mistake and that you miss them and that you wish they were the one for you and you the one for them and that you're still in love and oh my gosh just rip my heart out all over again! NOT FAIR.
This set me back considerably. It was like that first week all over again. Let it be known that I absolutely hate crying. And I was a mess.
ACT VI.
The Present:
I recognize that good things have come out of this crazy(!) experience. I am so grateful that I am no longer in that relationship. I sincerely wish it had been me that had ended it.
I am happy now. I hadn't been happy in months, but I am so happy now.
I've learned many things. I have a greater understanding of the principles of agency and of personal revelation. I have a greater appreciation for the wisdom of my parents. (I have a seriously incredible family. They have been my unfailing support through everything this year, and I am stronger because of their faith in me.) I am more aware of the things I need to be careful of. I know better what I am looking for. I have a better understanding of my own capabilities- my strengths, and my weaknesses.
Have I mentioned how happy I am now?? Really. It hasn't been easy. In fact at times it's been excruciating. I have had nights I didn't know how I was going to get through. I've had days where it takes everything I have not to start crying randomly in public. But I'm not having those days anymore; I am recognizing the value of this experience. I may never understand it fully. But that's OK. Because I'm OK.
For some reason I feel like I have to convince anyone reading this that I'm really alright. Maybe it just helps if I reinforce it for myself. But this is how it is: I don't miss him. He used to be my best friend, we used to talk all the time, but I no longer miss him. What I do miss is knowing where my life was headed. It's an extremely difficult thing to reconcile within yourself what you want the most and reality. But that's going to be OK, too. I'll just keep working on myself and preparing for when reality decides to be friends with my dreams. And if it never happens, well... that's tough, but it'll be OK as well. I've already got my cats:)
This part's for you Lauren
I did 30, 15 for yesterday, 15 for today.
Reasons Why I Love BYU (in no particular order):
1. Chocolate Milk (ok, that one is in order:D)
2. Modest clothing
3. Clean cut men
4. Clean language
5. Our usage of acronyms
6. Having church in classrooms
7. The mountains:) I don't have any at home, so I get to appreciate them while I'm here
8. Not one, but TWO Jamba Juice locations on campus!
9. Free bowling at the Wilk
10. Campus itself- It's gorgeous.
11. The dances are actually fun
12. Ducks! I enjoy watching them.
13. This is a love/hate: I hate that there's a housing monopoly, but I love that pretty much everyone lives fairly close
14. South of campus housing- this is where it's at. I can't say I've met anyone I particularly like that lives elsewhere....
15. COSMO!!!! He's fantastic. Best mascot ever.
16. BYU fudge
17. BYU mint brownies (they're how I survive Thursdays).
18. It's as close to Hogwarts as I'll ever get.
19. Prayers at the beginning of classes
20. The Daily Universe Police Beat
21. Divine Comedy
22. The Hip-Hop Club: they're pretty rad
23. The fact that I fit in child's medium BYU shirts:)
24. The Harold B. Lee Library
25. The snack zone
26. The 5th floor: It's where I get my studyin' on.
27. Modest swimwear at the apartment pool/hot tub
28. The fact that anything and everything is/can be a date.
29. L&T
30. Professors and Faculty that bring up gospel principles in subjects you had never considered.
So Here It Goes. 2010: Year In Review. Hold on tight because "it's gonna be a bumpy ride!" (Please read in Jamaican accent: think HP3 Knight Bus).
CAUTION: This is probably way more than you're bargaining for.
Also note that yes, it's going to be divided up into months/people I've dated. That's just how it's categorized in my mind.
ACT I.
January: Dated two losers who used me, woohoo! Had a nice chat with a roommie and we decided to become better people that were more assertive with ourselves and that we weren't going to let guys walk all over us anymore. This change in attitude has had a great positive effect on my life.
ACT II.
February 13-April 28: Enter Boy #3
I will describe this as the blissfully happy part of my year. Absolutely crazy in love. Made killer grades. And the world could not have been more beautiful. Marriage came up. We set a date.
ACT III.
April 28-August 27: I cannot possibly describe this accurately. Worst Summer of My Entire Existence pretty much sums it up. Never again. So horrible. I was at home for the summer, he was in DC and later Atlanta working. I went to visit him twice. Our relationship was simply phone calls. I thought all things considered we were doing pretty well, but I was a wreck.
I'm going to take this opportunity to apologize to my family. I was not myself this summer. I don't know who that empty, cold person was, but it wasn't me. I was so depressed. But I didn't think my own absolute unhappiness would affect anyone else. I am so sorry. I literally felt like I was missing a significant piece of who I was.
Halfway through the summer I felt him forgetting me. Sometimes I wondered if he still loved me. I passed it off as him simply weirding out because it had been so long since we had been together. I kept holding out for the end of the summer so we could get back to normal. I thought it would be unfair to both of us to break up during the summer.
ACT IV.
August 27-29: Worst Weekend of My Entire Existence.
Back up a few days. I'd just driven to Utah from Texas as the sole driver. That's a good 22 hours of driving. Needless to say, I was burned out. Back to the 27th: I was not very nicely pressured into driving to Lake Powell to spend the weekend with the boy and his family. I really felt that if I didn't go I would lose him. Though I was so exhausted, I made the drive; I thought it was a sacrifice I just had to make. I brought with me an old roommate. Let this be a lesson to everyone: It is a woefully moronic idea to have 2 girls drive a long distance by themselves. There is not a word for how stupid that idea was.
So we drive. We get lost. I get hysterical. I get a speeding ticket (I never speed, ever!! It was soooo awful). We finally get there and his sister screams at me. I cry. It was a really brilliant beginning to a wonderful weekend.
Rest of the weekend: Something is wrong and I know it. No one is talking to me. He won't even talk to me. I am terrified. Can't eat, can't sleep.
Sunday night we all drive back to Provo. I find a girl's number in his wallet. I feel so great.
He comes over for dinner, we don't talk. We go on a walk. He dumps me. The end.
Oh but had it been the end!
ACT V.
September: I met all my roommates the day after I got dumped, coincidentally the day school started! I really believe it created an instant bond between me and them though. And I'm really grateful that if it had to happen, it happened when it did. I got to start the semester fresh:) I actually did incredibly well all things considered. The first week I didn't eat or sleep, but fortunately that can't go on forever and I slowly regained an appetite. (I lost weight though! Bonus!)
I seriously was recovering quite well. Until he started texting me again.
September was just, messy. It's really not OK to talk to the person you crushed and tell them you think you made a mistake and that you miss them and that you wish they were the one for you and you the one for them and that you're still in love and oh my gosh just rip my heart out all over again! NOT FAIR.
This set me back considerably. It was like that first week all over again. Let it be known that I absolutely hate crying. And I was a mess.
ACT VI.
The Present:
I recognize that good things have come out of this crazy(!) experience. I am so grateful that I am no longer in that relationship. I sincerely wish it had been me that had ended it.
I am happy now. I hadn't been happy in months, but I am so happy now.
I've learned many things. I have a greater understanding of the principles of agency and of personal revelation. I have a greater appreciation for the wisdom of my parents. (I have a seriously incredible family. They have been my unfailing support through everything this year, and I am stronger because of their faith in me.) I am more aware of the things I need to be careful of. I know better what I am looking for. I have a better understanding of my own capabilities- my strengths, and my weaknesses.
Have I mentioned how happy I am now?? Really. It hasn't been easy. In fact at times it's been excruciating. I have had nights I didn't know how I was going to get through. I've had days where it takes everything I have not to start crying randomly in public. But I'm not having those days anymore; I am recognizing the value of this experience. I may never understand it fully. But that's OK. Because I'm OK.
For some reason I feel like I have to convince anyone reading this that I'm really alright. Maybe it just helps if I reinforce it for myself. But this is how it is: I don't miss him. He used to be my best friend, we used to talk all the time, but I no longer miss him. What I do miss is knowing where my life was headed. It's an extremely difficult thing to reconcile within yourself what you want the most and reality. But that's going to be OK, too. I'll just keep working on myself and preparing for when reality decides to be friends with my dreams. And if it never happens, well... that's tough, but it'll be OK as well. I've already got my cats:)
This part's for you Lauren
I did 30, 15 for yesterday, 15 for today.
Reasons Why I Love BYU (in no particular order):
1. Chocolate Milk (ok, that one is in order:D)
2. Modest clothing
3. Clean cut men
4. Clean language
5. Our usage of acronyms
6. Having church in classrooms
7. The mountains:) I don't have any at home, so I get to appreciate them while I'm here
8. Not one, but TWO Jamba Juice locations on campus!
9. Free bowling at the Wilk
10. Campus itself- It's gorgeous.
11. The dances are actually fun
12. Ducks! I enjoy watching them.
13. This is a love/hate: I hate that there's a housing monopoly, but I love that pretty much everyone lives fairly close
14. South of campus housing- this is where it's at. I can't say I've met anyone I particularly like that lives elsewhere....
15. COSMO!!!! He's fantastic. Best mascot ever.
16. BYU fudge
17. BYU mint brownies (they're how I survive Thursdays).
18. It's as close to Hogwarts as I'll ever get.
19. Prayers at the beginning of classes
20. The Daily Universe Police Beat
21. Divine Comedy
22. The Hip-Hop Club: they're pretty rad
23. The fact that I fit in child's medium BYU shirts:)
24. The Harold B. Lee Library
25. The snack zone
26. The 5th floor: It's where I get my studyin' on.
27. Modest swimwear at the apartment pool/hot tub
28. The fact that anything and everything is/can be a date.
29. L&T
30. Professors and Faculty that bring up gospel principles in subjects you had never considered.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Loyalty and Journalism
Despite business endeavors, journalists' first loyalty should always be to the citizen
"If it comes down to a question of loyalty, my loyalty will be to the person who turns on the television set"
-Nick Clooney, former newscaster
Being loyal to readers is so important. Through loyalty, we as journalists create a relationship with our readers. This relationship is what keeps consumers consuming our product. (Note: Citizens aren't customers...they are consumers. Why the distinction? Because the news is provided free to the public and is often "sold" at a loss).
Loyalty also builds trust. We all know that newspapers are not faring well in today's economic climate. There are many who criticize the downsizing of news staff with the argument that it is not overworked and thinly stretched reporters that are going to pull the newspaper industry back together to once again become a profitable medium. Alicia Shepard of NPR says "it will be the trusted news sources that endure."
Sam Zell's loyalty certainly doesn't lie with his readers. His unprofessional, to put it lightly, behavior has not only failed to produce profit as promised, but has also alienated both consumers and employees. Just check out the Tribune Handbook, especially page four's Harassment Policy.
The disputed advertising tactics of The Los Angeles Times are also, frankly, unethical.
How can Zell possibly expect to produce a winning newspaper with such a lack of loyalty to all things journalists hold dear?
Let's examine this further.
In class we talked about The Wall.
Namely, that
1. The owner must be committed to the citizen first
Zell is clearly only committed to his former radio cronies.
2. The owner should hire business managers who also put citizens first
Zell and Randy Michaels (Zell's numero uno) got to work right off the bat with "installing in major positions more than 20 former associates from the radio business — people [Zell] knew from his time running Jacor and Clear Channel — a practice that came to be known as “friends and family” at the company." That's a recipe for success right there. He's turned The Tribune Co. into a "frat house" so says the NYT.
3. They should set and communicate clear standards with the company
Ok, Zell did manage to get this one right. His Handbook made his standards pretty clear.
Journalists have final say over the news
The Chicago Tribune Blagojevich debacle AND the Universal Studios advertising faux pas (in similitude with the Disney ad) clearly state to readers that journalists and journalism are not at the head of the food chain, but rather money is.
5. Communicate clear standards to the public
I pretty much laid this one out in number 4 as well
The Wall simply does not exist in Sam Zell's world. No wonder his company is bankrupt. He has annihilated the fundamental principles of journalistic success.
"If it comes down to a question of loyalty, my loyalty will be to the person who turns on the television set"
-Nick Clooney, former newscaster
Being loyal to readers is so important. Through loyalty, we as journalists create a relationship with our readers. This relationship is what keeps consumers consuming our product. (Note: Citizens aren't customers...they are consumers. Why the distinction? Because the news is provided free to the public and is often "sold" at a loss).
Loyalty also builds trust. We all know that newspapers are not faring well in today's economic climate. There are many who criticize the downsizing of news staff with the argument that it is not overworked and thinly stretched reporters that are going to pull the newspaper industry back together to once again become a profitable medium. Alicia Shepard of NPR says "it will be the trusted news sources that endure."
Sam Zell's loyalty certainly doesn't lie with his readers. His unprofessional, to put it lightly, behavior has not only failed to produce profit as promised, but has also alienated both consumers and employees. Just check out the Tribune Handbook, especially page four's Harassment Policy.
The disputed advertising tactics of The Los Angeles Times are also, frankly, unethical.
How can Zell possibly expect to produce a winning newspaper with such a lack of loyalty to all things journalists hold dear?
Let's examine this further.
In class we talked about The Wall.
Namely, that
1. The owner must be committed to the citizen first
Zell is clearly only committed to his former radio cronies.
2. The owner should hire business managers who also put citizens first
Zell and Randy Michaels (Zell's numero uno) got to work right off the bat with "installing in major positions more than 20 former associates from the radio business — people [Zell] knew from his time running Jacor and Clear Channel — a practice that came to be known as “friends and family” at the company." That's a recipe for success right there. He's turned The Tribune Co. into a "frat house" so says the NYT.
3. They should set and communicate clear standards with the company
Ok, Zell did manage to get this one right. His Handbook made his standards pretty clear.
Journalists have final say over the news
The Chicago Tribune Blagojevich debacle AND the Universal Studios advertising faux pas (in similitude with the Disney ad) clearly state to readers that journalists and journalism are not at the head of the food chain, but rather money is.
5. Communicate clear standards to the public
I pretty much laid this one out in number 4 as well
The Wall simply does not exist in Sam Zell's world. No wonder his company is bankrupt. He has annihilated the fundamental principles of journalistic success.
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