Beautiful

What a beautiful, beautiful thing today is. Let me make Note here that I just woke up from a nap, so of course everything is lovely to me:)

I gave a fantastic presentation in English today. Seriously, I feel so grand about it. Such a weight lifted off my shoulders; all my projects are DONE and now I just get to face finals.

Counseling today was fun. I'm so grateful I have moved past the times of delving deep into the pit of despair to discover the sources from whence the murky waters flow. I believe I have successfully stopped those up. And certainly I was not alone in those efforts. Here I will diverge to tell a fascinating little bit:

This past month I have seen such a significant improvement in my level of happiness. I can attribute it to perfectly wonderful friends, absolutely beautiful family members (a strange descriptor, perhaps, but that's how I feel. My family is beautiful. The wisdom, strength, and love they have given me is the most beautiful thing I have ever encountered), fabulously uplifting books, gloriously intelligent professors, and truly inspired leaders.
At tithing settlement on Sunday, my bishop asked me if I am happy and how I've been doing. He of course knows what a difficult semester this has been for me. I was excited to tell him that I've seen such progress within myself these past few weeks. He asked me if I thought indexing (Family Search name indexing) had anything to do with how I felt.
Quite an interesting thought I had not considered. Yet, it matches up perfectly time-frame wise. I started indexing a month ago, and since then everything has gotten so much better for me. He promised us at the beginning of the semester that indexing would be a spiritual experience for us. And I truly believe that it has been.

So instead of making me cry for an hour in counseling today, we analyzed the crazy things that regularly happen in my life. I'm quite an entertaining person. Anyone who I've ever divulged life stories to I'm sure can attest to that.

And after school and counseling was done, I came home and took a beautiful nap. The best part was that I didn't have to wake up to my alarm clock:) Instead I woke up on my own to Little Women (one of my go-to sleep-time movies). What a beautiful, beautiful film. I even shed a few tears (I think it's a very good day when something beautiful moves you to tears). It got me thinking two distinct things: I miss my sisters so incredibly much. And I really want to be in love. Someday. With the right person. And that thought got me thinking about the essence of love itself and I came up with this:

Love: feeling safe being vulnerable with someone. Is there a more exquisite emotion? I miss it so much. And despite the complete, soul-ripping heartbreak it has afforded me in times past and I'm sure will warrant again in the future, I long for it. I want to dive into it.

So that's my beautiful day thus far. It has left me with a supreme sense of satisfaction as well as a dull pain in my chest. And that's why it is beautiful. Beauty is in the longing.